I regularly get compliments on my looks, from both men and women. Usually the people giving the compliments assume that it must be easy for me to get women, because I'm so "good looking". It's hard for them to imagine that this is not the case. And in fact, it is not the case. Most times women will give me a second look but that's where it usually ends, and things progress no further.

Now, to be honest, there are times when my looks will help, and women will make it very easy for me to have sex with them as a result. But there are also quite a few times when women will have their guard up as a result of my looks. They practically assume I'm a slick player who will "pick them up" if they're not careful. So up goes the shield. Most guys won't know what I'm talking about here since most guys don't set off the bitch shield just by their looks alone. So in a way I'm in a unique position. I get to observe how much good looks help, and don't help. And my conclusion is that good looks are a double-edged sword. They can help but also hurt, as proven by the fact that I don't hook up nearly as much as many people seem to think.

The Real Obstacle Men Face

The problem as I see it, is this:

Many women look at me and assume that I am getting a lot of girls, and they feel threatened by that, so their natural reaction is to avoid me. But ironically, if all women were to think this way I would never hook up. Fortunately, not all women think this way. But many do, and the result is that many women avoid me.

The only group of women I hook up with are the ones who don't care who else I might be fucking. This is the cream of the crop of women (relatively speaking), since they are the most confident, intelligent women who are not possessive and have no agendas.

In some ways I feel that my looks have given me a unique vantage point on female behaviour. Since so many people assume you need looks to get girls, I am proof that this is not the case. Furthermore, I know that lack of attraction is not the main issue guys are up against in the online dating world. If it were I would be getting laid like a rock star. And the fact that I am not means that the obstacles men are facing are mostly related to personality issues women have, and not how attractive women find them. Many (most) women in this part of the world have psychological and social issues, which prevent them from meeting men on a healthy level. Being good looking does not erase this fact, and can sometimes aggravate it, as I explained already.

When Attraction Becomes Sabotage

This becomes most evident when I see that a girl is attracted to me (smiling at me, giving me signals, etc.) and when I make a move the walls come up. This tells me that attraction was not a choice, and that she couldn't help but show it, but when it came time to do something about it, she sabotaged her efforts due to her own personal issues; such as psychological problems, insecurities, timid-ness, etc. Some will think I'm full of shit, and that the girls aren't attracted and I'm seeing things that aren't there. And yet, this has happened to me many times in the past, with great consistency. So in other words, I was there and you weren't.

Here's something else to think about. If you're a woman, chances are you see attractive guys wherever you go. Why is it so hard to believe that one of those guys could have an opinion the same as mine?

Lastly, imagine a situation where you see a good looking guy, and you tell yourself that, although he's hot, you'd best avoid him, since chances are he's already getting lots of girls and you would be another "notch" for him. Now imagine if all girls were to think this way. What do you think would happen then? It isn't hard to comprehend that this guy would never hook up. It's the ultimate irony.

Embrace Who You Are

Remember, things aren't always as they seem.

Personally, I have found the solution is for me to embrace the guy that women think I am, just because it's who I want to be anyway --- you know, the guy who sees different women; the guy who is a player. Any attempt to hide this is useless anyway, as it just means more work on my part and more bullshit. So ladies, what you see is what you get. If you can't deal with it, then step out of the way and make room for the women who can.